Back Home in Virginia
It has been a little over a week since my last post. Thanks to everyone who has checked for this entry and/or inquired as to how things are going. On Sunday morning, Jan. 4, I caught the bus from Morehead City to the train in Wilson which took me home to Mechanicsville. I arrived at my mom's empty house at dusk. It had been just shy of three days since I received a text from Lisa (my sister) saying she called the ambulance and Mom was on her way to the emergency room with short and labored breathing. Barry and I had to get to Beaufort so I could get home. My sister and I kept a three-day vigil by her bedside before she went peacefully to her eternal home. It was a blessing to have been able to both get Crossroads in a secure spot and spend our last special hours with Mom. I'm convinced she planned it that way ... that's how Mom did things.
Alice Faye Shuler Hege was born in Winston-Salem, NC, the oldest of four children. She enjoyed riding her tricycle, tea parties, and piano lessons. Her family took annual trips to the beach where my grandfather would fish and mom would enjoy the water ... but only up to her ankles. She never liked water which only heightened her anxiety when we set out aboard Crossroads.
At James A. Gray High School she took journalism, was a reporter for Gray Light (the student newspaper), and was senior editor of the yearbook. She attended Appalachian State Teachers College where passing her swimming class became the major obstacle to otherwise graduating with honors. While we do not have any pool pictures, a favorite photo from that time is her on a horse. She promises she was only in the saddle for as long as it took to capture the photo. After graduation and marriage she and Dad moved to Richmond, VA where she started a life-long career in elementary education. Once Lisa and I got old enough to stay home after school by ourselves, she went back to teaching at Henry Clay Elementary in Ashland. She expected a lot out of her first graders and set a lofty bar that they always surpassed. Instilling discipline and teaching manners and compassion were just as important as reading, writing, and arithmetic. Twenty seven years later she retired.
She kept every card and letter she ever received and spent a lot of time over the past year walking down memory lane. She remembered every student and every parent. It has been so refreshing to read all the kind words. Lisa and I were the only ones who could call her Mom, but she cared for and loved over 600 of her children.
She enjoyed baking and always loved family gatherings and potluck dinners at church. Her signature M&M cookies and pecan tarts became a holiday staple. She was so proud her nephew and now great-nephew have continued that tradition. Music was also a large part of her life. She played piano, autoharp, handbells, and sang in the church choir. Mom was a huge ACC basketball fan and got me hooked early in life while watching Dean Smith, Jim Valvano, Lefty Driesell, Terry Holland, and Bobby Cremins patrol the sidelines on Saturday afternoons. She followed the Washington Nationals with her favorite player being Bryce Harper (until he became a Phillie). True to form, she still enjoyed visiting the beach while keeping a safe distance from the water.
Miracle of miracles, Barry and I managed to get Mom out on three sailing trips. She later admitted to being petrified, but she was a good sport and was determined to make it through the outings. After my dad passed in 2020, Mom put that determination into overdrive and decided she would be fine in her house alone. She faced everything thrown at her with grit, stubbornness, and humor. That teacher stare, however, always put me in my place. Her world shrank as her body continued to break down. Our collective goal was to keep her in her beloved house and never send her to a "facility."
We had a great Christmas together, but she cried when we said goodbye and left on this year's cruise. Deep-down she knew her time was coming to an end. She allowed us to get to Beaufort and then I was able to return home. Lisa and I held her hands and sang her beloved hymns continually for her final few days. I will always remember Mom as being funny and full of love -- for everyone and everything bright, shiny, and festive.
Yesterday as Lisa and I were checking her email, we came across a note she sent to a church friend. Her words were poignant: "I am totally homebound now. I get outside when I have a doctor's visit. I am not able to walk [beyond a few steps]. There are many ways that I can occupy my time and most days go by quickly ... I am not sad or bitter about my situation, but have accepted it. God has blessed me in so many ways!!" Well done, good and faithful servant.
I started this blog in 2018 as we began our Great Loop adventure. It was a way of showing Mom that we were safe and visiting some amazing places. She was always the first one to read it (all 875 posts) ... and share it with her friends. Over time, her worry for us lessened and she began researching our destinations on her tablet. Her favorite photos were always those of colorful sunrises and sunsets. We will leave Crossroads in Beaufort through February and visit her every few weeks as tasks up here allow. We look forward to spending time with friends in the area, visiting some of our favorite spots, and enjoying all those wonderful Beaufort sunsets ... for Mom. I will probably post sporadically over the next few months just to stay in the habit. If we are fortunate enough to head to The Bahamas next year, I'll pick back up in her honor.
