Springing Forward

I will attempt to summarize the last two months and catch everyone up to where we are on March 12. On January 8, the day following Mom's passing, Barry took the bus/train from Morehead City to Richmond. I picked him up at the train station and we both moved back into our house. We turned on the water and heat, plugged in all the TVs, then I went to sleep for the next day. I woke up to find a gorgeous flower arrangement had been delivered. It sure brought a smile to my face. As an escape I went up to see a UVA women's basketball game. The Hoos did not play very well, but it did not matter because I got to visit with two of my favorite folks. It was a nice and much needed change of scenery. The next week was spent at Mom's house, as we started to sort through 61 years of memories (how long she lived there). There were many pleasant surprises in all the items she had saved. From every nook and cranny we would find a pair of scissors. We accumulated quite a collection. On January 18, Barry and I drove back to Beaufort to check on Crossroads. My flowers were still beautiful and made the trip with us.

It was chilly in Beaufort, but the sun was out and sky was blue. We took several walks around downtown. Some sights don't change -- like the shrimp boats docked across the inlet. The biggest change on Front Street was that sad remnants of the Duncan House which had burned on December 15. The house dated back to the mid-1700s, was on the National Register of Historic Places, and was one of only 11 properties in North Carolina designated as a Statewide Property of Significance. As usual, the wind blew consistently strong and kept the flags stiff. A special treat was spotting wild horses across Taylor Creek on Carrot Island.  

We bundled up in multiple layers and took strolls along Atlantic Beach. The ocean was flat and we both instinctively said it would have been a great day to be on the outside (heading to Florida). Low tide fell conveniently in mid-afternoon. We enjoyed wide open beaches and looking at the piles of shell. The Oceana Pier stood strong against the elements. 

An occasional shell caught our eye and beckoned to be examined. Mainly we just walked and tried to formulate a plan for the next month. A bomb cyclone was to arrive soon. Both the house and the boat needed to be occupied and kept warm. It was decided that I would take the train back to Richmond and Barry would stay on Crossroads. As if ordered, we were treated to the most beautiful sunset on my final evening. Mom would have loved seeing it. I have to believe, however, that she actually did ... and maybe even crafted it for me herself.  

I got home and had a day to get ready for the storm. I found a few rations at the grocery store then hunkered down. The good news is we didn't get the two feet of snow which was predicted. Worse, we got five inches of ice. I did not venture out for days. My sister Lisa had a crew come over and shovel half our driveway, but the cul de sac was so bad I couldn't bring Mom's car down (then back up) the hill. My brother-in-law Robbie came and picked me up in their Jeep just so I could get out of the house. I did a little work at Mom's to make the best use of my time. It was too dang cold. I wore spikes on my shoes to keep upright. I didn't get mail service for two weeks. The only things happy were my Mom's two penguins watching over her house.

Eventually it warmed up a bit and I began shoveling the other half of the driveway. Once finished the ice pile was substantial. On the inside, I was busy working on my Mom's order of service, display of memories, her oral history, and my own "moment of remembrance." All of that, and watching the Olympics, kept me busy.  

Meanwhile, down in the not-so-sunny south, Barry wasn't having much fun either. Beaufort received 22-inches of snow. Worse yet, temperatures stayed below freezing for over three straight days. He tried hard to keep the water lines from freezing and was almost successful. Thankfully, there was no lasting damage. I could check in on him by watching the marina's live webcam. 

Snow covered the exterior steps. The bow was packed full. Snow drifts barricaded the saloon door. Barry eventually dug his way off of Crossroads and drove back home in mid-February. Final plans were put to the test when we set up the fellowship hall on Friday, February 20.

Forty-five days after her passing, we had Mom's Celebration of Life service. It was a warm and sunny day and we were vey pleased at how the day went. It was great seeing so many family members and friends. I held it together for my remembrance. Win. We were also able to meet several of Mom's friends that we had only ever know by name.  

The following day it snowed again. Ugghh. I put in a few more day's at Mom's before Barry and I drove back to Beaufort on February 28. A pretty day greeted us. I brought back another flower arrangement which stayed pretty for another week. While I had been away, Barry had contacted Hoke (who we worked with two years ago on our new bimini) and ordered a new cover for our anchor windlass.  

Barry had also removed all the original Selene rope lighting and installed new LED lighting. Oh, what a difference that made! The boat is so much brighter and cheery. Mother nature welcomed us back with a full moon, low wind/calm water, and sunny days. We have taken several walks along Atlantic Beach -- every one of them different.

We've been treated to a few nice sunsets. The days warmed up and we walked the beach without jackets. The number of birds increased. With days of light winds, shells were scarcer, but just as interesting. I even got to sit out on Fiberglass Beach, read a few books, and attempt to get some color back on my skin.

We met friends David and Sue (Daydreaming) in Fort Fisher for a day at the NC Aquarium. Highlights were a rescued leatherback turtle and seeing how it rested with its flippers folded back upon its shell. Standing in front of the salt water tanks reminded me of snorkeling in The Bahamas. A beautiful eagle resides in the outdoor exhibits. Spring is in the air and the flowers have begun to bloom. 

The sky continued to be clear, but our trips to Atlantic Beach revealed a different ocean. Three days ago, the waves began to pick up. The recently arrived sandpipers didn't seem to mind. 

Clouds rolled in and created a nice sunset. Fast forward to the next day and a heavy fog covered the area. At the beach we could not see the pier. From our bow (in standard sunset position), we could not see the bridge. Yesterday cleared off and we took one last stroll through the historic Beaufort downtown. This morning we woke up to a strong and gusty (up to 30 knots) wind. We braved it to make a final fruit and veggie run to Morehead City. In the time we were gone, the temperature fell over 20 degrees. Tonight as I write this, the wind has laid down. Tomorrow promises to be calm and sunny. We will take advantage of that to cast off from Beaufort and start heading home. Our cruising season is coming to an end, but Spring is just beginning. Would someone please turn on the heat back in Deltaville? It snowed there today. 

Well Done Good and Faithful Servant

Back Home in Virginia  

It has been a little over a week since my last post. Thanks to everyone who has checked for this entry and/or inquired as to how things are going. On Sunday morning, Jan. 4, I caught the bus from Morehead City to the train in Wilson which took me home to Mechanicsville. I arrived at my mom's empty house at dusk. It had been just shy of three days since I received a text from Lisa (my sister) saying she called the ambulance and Mom was on her way to the emergency room with short and labored breathing. Barry and I had to get to Beaufort so I could get home. My sister and I kept a three-day vigil by her bedside before she went peacefully to her eternal home. It was a blessing to have been able to both get Crossroads in a secure spot and spend our last special hours with Mom. I'm convinced she planned it that way ... that's how Mom did things. 

Alice Faye Shuler Hege was born in Winston-Salem, NC, the oldest of four children. She enjoyed riding her tricycle, tea parties, and piano lessons. Her family took annual trips to the beach where my grandfather would fish and mom would enjoy the water ... but only up to her ankles. She never liked water which only heightened her anxiety when we set out aboard Crossroads. 

At James A. Gray High School she took journalism, was a reporter for Gray Light (the student newspaper), and was senior editor of the yearbook. She attended Appalachian State Teachers College where passing her swimming class became the major obstacle to otherwise graduating with honors. While we do not have any pool pictures, a favorite photo from that time is her on a horse. She promises she was only in the saddle for as long as it took to capture the photo. After graduation and marriage she and Dad moved to Richmond, VA where she started a life-long career in elementary education. Once Lisa and I got old enough to stay home after school by ourselves, she went back to teaching at Henry Clay Elementary in Ashland. She expected a lot out of her first graders and set a lofty bar that they always surpassed. Instilling discipline and teaching manners and compassion were just as important as reading, writing, and arithmetic. Twenty seven years later she retired.

She kept every card and letter she ever received and spent a lot of time over the past year walking down memory lane. She remembered every student and every parent. It has been so refreshing to read all the kind words. Lisa and I were the only ones who could call her Mom, but she cared for and loved over 600 of her children.  

She enjoyed baking and always loved family gatherings and potluck dinners at church. Her signature M&M cookies and pecan tarts became a holiday staple. She was so proud her nephew and now great-nephew have continued that tradition. Music was also a large part of her life. She played piano, autoharp, handbells, and sang in the church choir. Mom was a huge ACC basketball fan and got me hooked early in life while watching Dean Smith, Jim Valvano, Lefty Driesell, Terry Holland, and Bobby Cremins patrol the sidelines on Saturday afternoons. She followed the Washington Nationals with her favorite player being Bryce Harper (until he became a Phillie). True to form, she still enjoyed visiting the beach while keeping a safe distance from the water.

Miracle of miracles, Barry and I managed to get Mom out on three sailing trips. She later admitted to being petrified, but she was a good sport and was determined to make it through the outings. After my dad passed in 2020, Mom put that determination into overdrive and decided she would be fine in her house alone. She faced everything thrown at her with grit, stubbornness, and humor. That teacher stare, however, always put me in my place. Her world shrank as her body continued to break down. Our collective goal was to keep her in her beloved house and never send her to a "facility."

We had a great Christmas together, but she cried when we said goodbye and left on this year's cruise. Deep-down she knew her time was coming to an end. She allowed us to get to Beaufort and then I was able to return home. Lisa and I held her hands and sang her beloved hymns continually for her final few days. I will always remember Mom as being funny and full of love -- for everyone and everything bright, shiny, and festive.

Yesterday as Lisa and I were checking her email, we came across a note she sent to a church friend. Her words were poignant: "I am totally homebound now. I get outside when I have a doctor's visit. I am not able to walk [beyond a few steps]. There are many ways that I can occupy my time and most days go by quickly ... I am not sad or bitter about my situation, but have accepted it. God has blessed me in so many ways!!" Well done, good and faithful servant. 

I started this blog in 2018 as we began our Great Loop adventure. It was a way of showing Mom that we were safe and visiting some amazing places. She was always the first one to read it (all 875 posts) ... and share it with her friends. Over time, her worry for us lessened and she began researching our destinations on her tablet. Her favorite photos were always those of colorful sunrises and sunsets. We will leave Crossroads in Beaufort through February and visit her every few weeks as tasks up here allow. We look forward to spending time with friends in the area, visiting some of our favorite spots, and enjoying all those wonderful Beaufort sunsets ... for Mom. I will probably post sporadically over the next few months just to stay in the habit. If we are fortunate enough to head to The Bahamas next year, I'll pick back up in her honor.